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Disavowals

by Tend

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1.
Seems as though you couldn't stay Communicate in direct ways But left behind, the evidence Points to what you meant to say This privilege of having seen Of setting eyes upon The universe, indifferent How quickly these clouds drift I can see it and I hear Witness, watch and sense O, how things must have been Before we'd left a trace We've had it wrong this whole time And hearing the wrong voice Signals caught Signals caught, they got mixed up How quickly these clouds drift Voices heard, detected Waves that crash, collapse Antenna capture Observe and interrupt How quickly these clouds drift How quickly these clouds drift
2.
For the stars seem closer tonight Could you say we were friends? I don't want to pretend If I only exist in your image of me Won't you tell me now, how do I look? Could you say we were friends? I don't want to pretend Instantiations, recursive and latching And spiralling upwards in time 'No I won't back down' Amidst recrimination If I only exist in your image of me Won't you tell me now, how do I look? 'No I won't back down' Amidst recrimination Instantiations, recursive and latching And spiralling upwards in time For the stars seem closer tonight When I took you by the hand When I turned yours in my palm Conflagrations, distant pale ignitions The stars, they seem closer tonight When I took you by the hand When I turned yours in my palm Did your hand shake? Did your hand shake? Rampant, strident Iterations of us in an arc across time Could you say we were friends? Rampant, strident Iterations of us in an arc across time For the stars seem closer tonight
3.
I'm what they call a backslider Hellbound, though I've already been So that now I'm seen as other Irredeemable, lost to sin Backslider It's as though I was left when the rapture Recalled them into the sky A story once told to me Sundays Expect to get left behind Living as you think He'd have it The ways that He might guide your hand Appears to me mere depiction Verily, we're on the same path Knocking on doors of my neighbours No-one at all to be seen They have been ushered to heaven Certain I wouldn't get in Lapsing Degenerate Having slipped Apostate Backslider Living as you think He'd have it The ways that He might guide your hand Appears to me mere depiction Verily, we're on the same path Lapsing Degenerate Having slipped Apostate It's because of my choices I'm banished I went the way of the world You only think that you know what that means We are all of us deaf to His word Misinterpretation of scripture Coded, reduced - only rules What it has wrought is a schism So that I am now other to you
4.
Thoughts not worth having And no peace to be made With past decisions taken Harm inflicted At what point do you question Where then do you turn When finally you've understood The problem's always you? Harm, a flashing blade Gliding down through flesh How far along it travels Depends on how hard I press Though I've come to wonder Who else these actions hurt Wounds appear equivalent On both ends of the blade
5.
Thank you for your gift You needed me to see It felt as though you meant To hint true depths I'm blind to Though so I couldn't turn Unto my concerns so human It was required for you, I see For a time to paralyse me Rapt and in thrall, fearful Fixed upon such scenes as these Walls of breeds of livestock Passed, turning in wind From the ground to clouds stacked, vaulting Sucked into the sky Were birds I'd never seen before Forms not recognised The air was charged and as the sun climbed Bolting directly at me The winds gave way unto pure flaming light All in view framed in its rays But against the order of these things understood The arrow of time turning back Came black, and suffocating orange In appalling reversion to night How shall we escape? It's an eclipse I then realised, a shadow on sun The corona lensing, flaring - I ran Barely breathing in that choked atmosphere And biblically awed, knelt where I fell Uncomprehendingly I looked upon Your works, majestic, then could move again Thank you for showing me your vast deeds I await the next visionary dream
6.
Disavowals 05:44
Disavowals When the buildings turn their backs To the architects who drew them And mountains shun Our cities at their feet All bullets racing From the guns and hands that fired them Should not I too walk away From all these works of man? Disavowals Turn and show my back to the world Turn and walk away Turn and show my back to the world Disavowals Turn and show my back to the world
7.
Boss Rush 05:06
Input the sequence Timed to deliver Hot laser death In bullet hell Observe the workings Of these traps They're designed to test Impede your advance Observe the workings Of these traps See how they move Before you act You'll see there's a tell Or some subtle cue In your adversary's system His order of moves Know where to position Yourself to best strike To disrupt the pattern Break his attack Input the sequence Timed to deliver Hot laser death In bullet hell Observe the workings Of these traps They're designed to test Impede your advance Boss rush bullet sponge

about

P. Thomas Donnelly is Tend
additional vocals on Walking Antennae - Paul McClure ( lowlevellighting.bandcamp.com )
saxophone on Walking Antennae - Jay Thurley ( teethgrynder.bandcamp.com )
keyboards and additional electronics on Entangled Perceptions - Conn Kelly ( mattclayoptionaln.bandcamp.com )
guitar on On Both Ends of the Blade - C. T.
artwork - Ashlaigh Byrne ( ashlaighbyrne.co.uk )
layout - Emma Kelly ( www.instagram.com/sweetmeatsillustrations )
logo - Davidt Dunlop ( www.instagram.com/theartclassroom )

Thanks to everyone who's encouraged me and has contributed to Disavowals.

credits

released May 14, 2021

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Tend Glasgow, UK

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